While preparing to send stories out in hopes of finding publication, I’ve searched online for advice on constructing a cover letter and general tips for submitting fiction to magazines and journals. Along the way, I happened across a number of lists of things not to do and stories not to write. For some reason, these lists amused me, so I thought I’d share. The following examples are from Strange Horizons, an online speculative fiction magazine.
From the non-horror list:
17. An alien observes and comments on the peculiar habits of humans, for allegedly comic effect.
a. The alien is fluent in English and completely familiar with various English idioms, but is completely unfamiliar with human biology and/or with such concepts as sex or violence and/or with certain specific extremely common English words (such as “cat”).
b. The alien takes everything literally.
c. Instead of an alien, it’s people in the future commenting on the ridiculous things (usually including internal combustion engines) that people used to use in the unenlightened past.
It’s funny because I’ve seen a fair number of stories like that. It’s also funny when something that I’ve done makes the list.
13. Office life turns out to be soul-deadening, literally or metaphorically.
But my story about that was really good!
They also have a list for Horror:
5. Person sees mysterious things that nobody else can see.
c. In the end, it turns out the person is crazy.
Yeah, but my story like that was really good!
Anyway, check out the entire lists. They helped me gain a little perspective on my own writing and (hopefully) will steer me in the right direction. (Note: I realize that these lists are the opinions of the editors of this one particular magazine and aren’t some sort of gospel of story ideas to avoid.)
Editors are hardly good arbiters of taste–and genre editors the least competent of all. I’ve been writing for over 20 years and I can count the number of smart, literate, genre editors I’ve come across (SF/Fantasy/Horror) in that time on my thumbs. Just write what you want to and pay no mind to geeks and dolts…
Hey, Cliff. I think you’re right. This list (and others like it) are probably best as a reference before sending something to that particular publication. I’d bet that even these guys would agree that if a story is well written, it can break their “rules” and still get published.
These lists still amuse me, though. Thanks for the comment.
hey Mike……..nice to see a new post on this blog!! Good luck in your endeavors…..probably not luck, but talent!!! Your talent will take you far there is no doubt about it!! keep us posted on what transpires.
Nikki